At the cottage today, I approached my wife and told her we needed to talk. I started by saying, “I think I’m depressed…”.
I began the conversation by talking about how much I feel I’m missing out on many adventures, especially running ones and how I missed running almost everyday up until last year.
She said she understood especially with how quickly everything happened for us. In case you don’t know we’ve been together for almost 3 years. 4 months into the relationship, we found out she was pregnant and we decided to roll with it and we turned out having the most beautiful daughter ever.
We had to grow up real quick and made sure we were responsible in planning ahead for our family. So needless to say, we bypassed the “honeymoon phase” and fast-forwarded to the family planning phase, but everything was still great in between.
Even through the pregnancy,I was able to run almost everyday and still have fun. But fast forward to three years later and I run 2 days a week if I’m lucky. Running before work would be difficult because that would mean I would have to run at 2:30am since I wake up at 4:30am for work. Running after work is almost non-existent because I go straight to side-jobs.
All this has gotten me burned out and is really taking its toll on me.
After the talk with my wife, I got a little clarity and made a little more sense of things and what I need to start doing and focus on so I don’t get this feeling again.
Instead of looking at what I’m missing out on, I will look at what I do have. It will be difficult at times and sometimes it still feels hard adjusting to being a family man…and that’s real talk
Almost a month ago I went through one of my grumpy phases for about a week. My asshole self would be rude and agitated every time my fiancee would ask me something or even just try to talk to me about something.
This went on for a few days until eventually she had enough and said “What’s your problem?! Just SPIT out what’s on your mind!”. As soon as she said that, I quickly realized she was right and I was being my old Mr. Flanders self holding things in and eventually blowing up like in that episode where he just one day snaps at everyone. I thought to myself, “I shouldn’t be treating my future wife like this!”. She was right. If I have something bothering me, I should just be able to SPIT it out and we should be able to talk things out. The thing that was bothering me was something as simple as our time management when it came to divvying up who gets to train, workout, get some ‘me’ time, and just unwind. Something so simple, if bottled up can lead to a blowout. An unnecessary Mr. Flanders type of blowout.
So after realizing how much of an ass-hat I was. I had to SWALLOW my pride and apologize. When it comes to my fiancee and future wife, I can SWALLOW my pride as soon as I realize I am wrong and apologize. The old me wouldn’t and would keep fighting and not give a shit about her feelings. But no other woman completes and complements my life like her and since I know what I have, I know what to do to keep her. When you know how good you have it, you’ll work at it and change for the better.
If you’re with a person who you think is going to talk with you about what’s bothering you and help you find a solution to that problem, you should be able to just SPIT out what’s on your mind and if they’re as good as you think they are, then they’ll be understanding enough to find ways to make things work for both of you. And when you’re being an ass-hat for being snappy and rude SWALLOW your pride, apologize for being wrong, and work together to find a solution.
SPIT out what’s on your mind.
SWALLOW your pride and apologize .